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[ February 26th, 2010 � 1:13pm ] I got an unconditional :)  Which I have, of course, accepted. I've still to sort out some red tape surrounding Saas and leaving Glasgow University mid-term, but ultimately, I'm done. The relief is just immense. One of my main reasons- albeit quite a shallow, self absorbed one- of abandoning English Literature was that I felt the academic study of texts was killing my enthusiasm and enjoyment of reading, as well as my creativity- I've not wrote any prose for years, and it used to be one of my favourite things to do. So, my study of Literature at its end, I've started going semi-wild (as wild as reading can get) and re-reading some of my favourite novels. And absolutely enjoying them. Right now I'm on a Bret Easton Ellis kick (following a Cormac McCarthy kick), which is nice, as he only really has four novels, but I had clearly forgotten how amazing they are. A click look online also states he has a new novel called Imperial Bedrooms, released in June. Yay! As I'm now at the end of Lunar Park again, I've been scouring Amazon and Play for recommendations of similar writers. So, I'm ordering: Books Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney Coraline, by Neil Gaiman (actually, any Neil Gaiman book I haven't already read) Shutter Island, by Dennis Lehane (I hope to finish this before the movie is released) The Unit, by Ninni Holmqvist The Handmaiden's Tale, by Margaret Atwood Sisterhood Interrupted, by Deborah Siegel Syrup, by Max Barry Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs, by Chuck Klosterman And I think thats all I can afford right now. Yay for the return of leisure reading! xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Update [ February 23rd, 2010 � 9:39pm ] Still not heard from Strathclyde University. The wait is killing me. I wasn't so nervous beforehand (I got accepted into Law three years ago) but with each day I'm slowly turning into more of an anxious wreck. My grades meet the requirements, but its bound to be limited places. Fingers crossed. I phoned and the girl checked my number, told me I would hear news any day soon. Eeep. I am now checking the UCAS track page about twenty times a day. However, despite the occasional pang of worry about my future, life is going pretty good. Div and I had planned a nice little Saturday in Ayr, possibly being tattooed, when a spur of the moment and ultimately awesome party fell into our hands- Colvin's 18th! It was like a little mini Rebellion reunion, all in Greenock. Much drunken antics ensued. Best party I have been to in quite some time, and totally worth almost being sick in Nikole's car the next afternoon. (rest of the pictures currently reside on Facebook). This weekend promises to be pretty damn good, too. Div's 19- the age I was when we first got together!!! They grow up so fast. I seriously need to get a grip with the amount of money I spend on rubbish. I do not need as many shoes, or tops, dresses, necklaces, rings, coffee, DVDs, got only knows what else...I must waste so much. I really need to save, too. Hopefully Amsterdam (or another European city in any case) with Div in April, then Rebellion, Chicago, and Miami in August.......time to start keeping a piggy bank, methinks. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Valentines Day [ February 14th, 2010 � 3:29pm ] St Valentines Day. I have a feeling that, as a girl in a pretty stable, young relationship I would be expected fill this entry with references to lovehearts, cuddles, roses and a rosy romantic future, but I can't really be bothered. I'm seeing Div later, should hopefully be a fun night. We're going to see Anti-Nowhere League, which brings back memories....well, a memory. Of Lucy and I, at fifteen, attempting and failing to con our way into see them at the Barfly without I.D. Ah, the days. I'm pretty much the Scrooge of Valentines Day. I've got him a gift and a card and the rest of it, but if I'm honest its not really the holiday for me. It just seems a little silly. If you like/love somebody, you really shouldn't need a specific day to tell them that. Anyway, I digress. Had an awesome night with Gillian last night! White balls, Michelle McManus becoming our new BFF, lapdances, and having the oppertunity (alas, a missed oppertunity) to pull two really hot girls. Then we met an awesome giant of a gay man in the taxi queue, who watches just as much trashy TV as I do!!!! No mean feat. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Clear Out [ February 9th, 2010 � 11:27pm ] I cleared out my wardrobe for the first time since I've owned it today. Wow. It took two and a half hours, with an outcome of five brimming bin bags (two for the charity shop, three to be banished forever) and the added bonus of rediscovering several pairs of shoes, some jeans, and a skirt I thought I had lost forever (such is the perils of having a room not unlike a pig sty most of the time). Despite the aforementioned fact, I actually find cleaning very theraputic, once I force myself to actually do it. I own so much, and hoarde so much. Among the many items thrown out included several (I'm emabrrassed to state just how many- suffice to say far more than any human being should ever own. ever) pairs of massively oversized baggy trousers from my goth days, complete with faded white and ripped to shreds hemlines. I can't believe I ever seriously wore them- and wore them I did, pretty much continously for, oh, about nine months or so (and then I moved onto the much more stylish combo of laced frilly Lolita skirts and stripy socks. Nice). Several pairs of shoes have also been given the boot for the most silly reason- they are a size too big. For some reason, several of my first pairs of heels are in a size 6. I have never been a size 6. I think I just bought them large in the hope they would be more comfortable. Yeah, of course. Because they are unwearable. All in all, there was only two items of clothing that I felt a twinge of regret at getting rid of (one for the bin, the other the charity shop) and for different reasons. My Sid Vicious flip flops (yes, a blatant and pretty ridiculous commercial cash cow ripping the (un)living daylights out of a dead man, but I loved them. And I still do). I thought I was the luckiest little fifteen year old newly fledging punk fan when I found these on sale at Faith, and proceeded to wear them on pretty much any sunny day, or summer holiday, I had the chance to. I think the state of them demonstrates this pretty accurately, and they have to go. So goodbye, the best flip flops I'll ever own. I still love you. Behold, the first pair of high heels I've ever owned. Not only that, but they were purchased in an AWESOME vintage store in San Fransisco. I know, so much awesome-ness. I remember purchasing these, then trying them on in the hotel room, and marvelling at how heels transformed me from a little almost-teenager into a woman (these were magic shoes, ladies and gentlemen). Whilst I'll always have a place in my heart for the little heels that started off my obsession with footwear, my more mature, informed self feels its time to say goodbye. I just do not see myself wearing them anymore. The heel is too dumpy, the PVC a bit hooker-esque for my tastes these days. I've no doubt that some model-esque fashionista will pick these up and rock them. Farewell. O'Malley, by the way, did nothing to help. Instead, he pranced all over my messy piles of clothing, growling and yawning in equal measure, then spent about half an hour attacking an old Forever Friends watch of mine. Sigh. Gee whiz this post has became quite rambling. I obviously feel quite strongly about my wardrobe clear-out. Maybe its because I never usually clean anything. Hm. xoxo 2 comments reply | edit memory

[ January 27th, 2010 � 6:07pm ] Today has been highly productive. I made strawberry cheesecake for the first time- and it turned out awesome! I'll probably update with pictures after I've served it up. Didn't quite have enough cream cheese to fill the entire cake tin, but whatever. Its teeth rottingly good. Also made chickpea Moroccan soup, which was also pretty awesome, although I don't really think you can go too far wrong with chickpeas. Delicious. I've also been wasting time doing random personality tests at okcupid.com (so addictive). Apparantly my Dating Persona is as such: Half-Cocked Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSD) Fiery. Hungry. Blatant. Sexual. Christ. You are Half-Cocked. There’s a lot of wild lust inside you, banging around, that much is obvious. There’s also a lot of untamed emotion. When either escapes, look out. One minute you’re completely together, the next you’re a howling gale of hormones and opinions. Outside relationships, your intense, mercurial personality makes you a charmer. You can be fiercely devoted, and it’s likely that many of your friends will be friends-for-life. Of course, your enemies are likewise certain and zealous, especially your exes and their therapists. You will find the right person. In the short term, he’s someone virile who won’t sweat your imperfections. In the long term, he will be someone mature and caring who will grow to love them. Uuuuh really? Okay. Can't argue with an online personality test, it must be right. Found here: http://www.okcupid.com/the-dating-persona-test xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ January 25th, 2010 � 5:58pm ] I'm going to attempt to post more frequently. I have a mind like a goldfish, and I like having my memories or even just my rambling abstract thought on backup... The last few weeks have been quite odd. I feel like I'm in limbo- until UCAS eventually (it could be weeks) get back to me about my place in law school, I'm stuck doing English Literature. I could just leave, of course, and quit moaning- but I don't want to burn my bridges. As soon as I get an offer I'll be as far away from Glasgow University as possible. As such, I'm attending lectures and tutorials, but thats all I'm doing really. No effort involved whatsoever. I can't wait to leave. I love reading and I love literature, but studying it as an academic form is just not for me. My tutorial today was very interesting, and most of the people in my group are engaging and lovely, but I couldn't help but wonder why I was spending an hour and a half of my life sitting around discussing Nathaniel Hawthorne's indulgent ramblings possibly related to the as-to-be-invented art of photography. It seemed so wasteful. However, the most stylish girl I have ever laid eyes upon attends the said tutorial. I have never seen anybody so put together in a very geek chic kind of way (messy hair, big glasses, brogues, cardigan, old lady dress) and pull it off so amazingly. I was in awe. She's like a librarian from the 1940s. I really appreciate people who commit to an image so carefully. Life has been pretty good recently, despite the waiting game. Div and I are still going strong- hopefuly going away for some time in Easter, possibly Amsterdam, although we have a rather tacky inkling to return to Blackpool (where we first got together...awww.) I honestly don't really care, anywhere would be awesome. I'm having such ichy feet about Glasgow recently. I love my home city, but it is way too familiar. I'm 20 now, and I need a break from it. It doesn't help that pretty much everybody I work with is exceptionally cool, and exceptionally well travelled. I want the courage - and the finance- to just decide to live somewhere else. Maybe even just over summer. If I drop Glasgow Uni I'll work full time, so I guess with a few months pay I could possibly go on a long extended vacation. We'll see. Over and out. I intended to post pictures, but I can't be bothered. I did, however, update my flickr page. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Resolutions [ January 6th, 2010 � 5:45pm ] My 2010 resolutions. A tad late, I'll admit, 2010 is already in full swing, and I'm not really a 'resolutions' kind of girl anyway. I originally planned to post a substancial entry regarding 2009, but I'm not going to post in publicly. Suffice to say, I'm glad 2009 is over, it certainly wasn't my favourite year. So, onwards and upwards. Resolutions 1. Cook more. I have no excuses now- I received two cookbooks for Christmas, and my mother keeps coming in with new cooking equiptment- and some serious hints- for me to get a move on. Right now I'm competent- I can boil pasta and rice, cook meats including mince, make my own homemade soup, cook omelettes and some random veggie dishes, and bake a mean brownie. Come 2011, I hope to pretty much be culinary profissient. 2. Get fit. I don't necessarily mean lose weight, if anything I think I'm too skinny sometimes. But toning up and improving my health get a big thumbs up. I am so unfit, and I cannot run to save myself. I've already attempted yoga classes with some degree of success (I don't know about yoga- of course it works as a workout, but I take issue with the many that wax lyrical about its powers of relaxation. I have never been less relaxed in my life. Maybe I'm just not doing it right) and for a brief stint in summer, jogging. In fact, summer 2009 was when I was at my peak- post breakup, I was a healthy eating, fitness machine. Then I got a new boyfriend and it all went to pot. GET FIT. 3. Work on my self esteem. I never realised fully how shallow and insecure I am until I was told I couldn't wear contact lenses until my eyes cleared of infection. I felt like my world just collapsed. I still hate not having the option to wear lens, but I need to work on it. I don't suddenly become an ogre with some glasses. I still haven't adjusted, and something's wrong there. I guess my attitudes to make-up also reflects my insecurities- I won't leave the house without some degree of make-up. Whilst I don't want to become a slob, I need to become a lot more comfortable in my own skin. 4. Law school- work, work, work. I am currently applying to study Law, back to first year again. I know, if accepted, I'll need to focus a helluva lot more. My parents will be paying tuition fees, for one thing, and I have to work hard to show my gratitude. My English career at Glasgow University has been okay, I've passed all my exams, but if I start this course, I'm going to have to work a LOT harder. I also need to learn to properly budget my time. No time wasting. 5. Get more interests. I already love photography, so I think I'm going to explore that side of my creativity a lot more. I also want to allocate time to my writing- two and a bit years of studying English has left me worn out, and I never write creativly anymore. I miss it.  Oh, and possibly not resolutions, but some goals I'm kind of half heartedly setting myself: 1. Pass driving exam. Or at least make a start, and get some driving lessons. 2. GO BLONDE. It'll be a hard slog, but I can do it. 3. Laser eye surgery for my 21st....? 4. Pretty much just to let go, have an awesome time, and enjoy life. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ December 14th, 2009 � 1:19pm ] WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE + Not that I know of. I think Nicole was relatively unique in the late eighties, although not so anymore. I really wish I had been called Morgan- my backup name. WHAT DETAILS DO YOU KNOW OF YOUR BIRTH? +  I was three weeks early, and my mum had been in hospital all week as she suffers from preeclampsia which can be life threatening. I think my birth was alright- my mum had an epidural. I was born at around 7am, and weighed just over 5 pounds. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHY? + I seem to tear up quite frequently these days, so I probably had to self consciously wipe my eyes at some silly wedding or birth on TV, and those RSPCA adverts with the limping donkey and the dancing bear always make me sniffle a little. The last time I really cried was probably in the summertime, with the whole post-Andy situation. DESCRIBE YOUR HANDWRITING. + Cursive, loopy, quite messy. I actually really like the way I write. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? + Pastrami. What a random question. ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW SARCASTIC ARE YOU? + Not at all, really. Only occasionally when I'm very pissed off. So about a 2. HAVE YOU LOST ANY PARTS (AS IN, SURGERIES)? + Just a few teeth that were cramming up my mouth. WHAT'S A RISK YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN? + I don't really regret doing anything, there's no point. And whilst I take minor risks, I would never consciously do anything that would threaten my life or my health. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? + Jordan's Country,  the Strawberry flavour. Yum. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? + I only own about two pairs of shoes with laces, and I normally don't untie them. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? + Physically, not at all. Emotionally, hmmm....I deal with things, but I do get hurt easily, and I tend to overthink everything. I just need to relax a little, and care a lot less about what other people think. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? + Oh, god, any. Ice cream now please. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ? + However shallow this sounds, its the truth- I notice what people are wearing, or what their general style is (punk, ned, studenty, etc). When talking to someone, I notice how confident they are. I find that I don't always get along with over-confident people. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ? + I've not ate anything today. Last night I had some of Div's fried haggis. It was pretty nice, although it sounds -and looked- disgusting. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? + Absolutely nothing. I rarely listen to music on the computer, I find it a huge distraction. I do, however, have 'Starving in the belly of a whale' by Tom Waits, jingling around in my head. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? + A pink, a wonderful, bright, hot pink. Not necessarily because it relates to any aspect of my personality, you see, just because I love hot pink, and thats as good a reason as any :) LAST SPORTING EVENT YOU WATCHED? + Hmm. I don't watch sports in general. Maybe a boxing match- I don't mind them so much. HAIR COLOR? + Its dyed black right now, and I am so sick of it. HORROR OR COMEDY? + Can't I have both? A lot of old horrors have an unintentional hilarious side to them. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? + Paranormal Activity. It was alright, I don't really think the hype surrounding it is deserved, though. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? + I'm in my PJs. Disgraceful. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER? + Cuddling up. Christmas spirit, when it glimmers.  Gifts- both giving, and receiving. WORST THING ABOUT WINTER? + Frostbite? Slush. Stress. FAVORITE DESSERT? + I love baked desserts- cherry pie with cream and ice cream would probably be my pick. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW? + My Uni books. Work ugh. Oh, and 'Life of Pi'. I know everybody read it years ago but I'm just coming around to it. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? + A skyline of Las Vegas. I didn't buy it. I have no idea who did. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? + I was working last night, and then went to a ska gig. TV just doesn't compare. FAVORITE SOUND? + I love the sound of old typewriters, and Nick Cave's voice. Yum. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? + Neither. Bikini Kill or Hole? WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? + Probably San Francisco. Not the most exciting location I've ever visited, but in terms of air miles probably the furthest away. WHAT IS YOUR HIDDEN TALENT? + I think I'm a good listener, although other people would have to verify that. WHAT IS YOUR SECRET WEAPON? + I love smells....so I think my scent. I really research my perfumes. 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ December 7th, 2009 � 2:30pm ] So, I've found my perfect apartment, guys. Unfortunately, a super awesome gay couple live in it already. Dammit. http://www.theselby.com/4_8_09_Card_Henderson/index.html PERFECT!!!! In other news, I don't want to revert back to my cripplingly paranoiac (sp?) ways, if I ever had them, but I'm a firm believer in my intuition and right now I'm just not feeling things. We'll see how it pans out but I don't really want to stay in a relationship if I don't have butterflies. Its not fair on anybody. I might be being pedantic about things, and true love might be a total fantasy, but I feel like I'm wasting my time if I don't see a relationship going anywhere.  But it is fun. Maybe I need something more relaxed for now. Decisions, decisions. In other news, BABY SOPHIE ARRIVED! All 10lbs of her :O Now, everybody who knows me even slightly will know I am not a fan of children, and specifically little babies. I don't know what it is. Pregnant woman kind of scare me. And newborns almost always remind me of tiny old wrinkly men. That smell. BUT Sophie is beyond gorgeous. I could easily have just looked at her for hours. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ November 23rd, 2009 � 8:01pm ] So, Eugene- the only man I'll ever love who has a porno mustache- marry me anytime soon? I'll wear some day-glo concoction, and you can wear...well, whatever the hell you want. I'm pretty sure it won't disappoint. We would have the most kick ass reception ever. I'm sure my friends aren't adverse to some nifty gypsy polka tunes. Then we can drive into the sunset in a rusty old van painting with unicorns and various political slogans in Romanian. It'll be awesome, I promise! Only, let's not invite Madonna, ok?  I feel awesome tonight. Mostly in thanks to Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zero's awesome, awesome, AWESOME debut album- now on Spotify- and Gogol Bordello's Super Taranta, which I haven't listened to in too long. I love me some feel good music!  xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Ugh [ November 17th, 2009 � 12:38am ] Wtf at you, Rammstein??!!! No Scotland tour date??!! Middlesex, Manchester and flippin' Birmingham??!! What about GLASGOW??!!! *weeps*...and I loved you guys. I still kinda do even though you hurt me so. On a more positive note, today I had a lovely dinner with Jennika at Darcey's, followed by some amazing Gingerbread latte and a little Christmas tree scavenger hunt of sorts.  Tomorrow, I have a smear test at 9am, followed by a loooong ass tutorial and then work until the wee hours. Unless something miraculous happens I'm pretty sure I'll be able to enter it into my top 10 worst dates of 2009. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Survigay [ November 13th, 2009 � 4:35pm ] Holy Batman I never update this any more. Ironic, because I actually probably have quite a lot going on right now. So, quickly, 1. I have a new boyfriend. Its quick, but its awesome. 2. I still hate University. I'm doing the work, but not really focusing on it.  3. I have come to the conclusion that tequila makes every night a better night. Why didn't I discover this a few years ago when everybody else did???!!! 4. I'm getting on really awesomely with my family. Which is nice. 5. Totally taking advantage of my years of being a lazy student and frequently sleeping in till the afternoon. Waking up and eating lunch? Aesome. 6. I've realised just how Minnie-Mouse my voice sounds. I sound fucking five. Why didn't people alert me to this??!! (not that I can actively change it, but none the less). 7. I'm going to be a second-degree auntie soon! To baby Sophie. ( Survey ) xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ October 7th, 2009 � 6:31pm ] I really, really want to see American by road. ROAD TRIP!!! It'll happen. It WILL. ( Easy Rider....all images courtesy of Flickr ) Also, some road trip blogs/flickrs/sites/whatevers: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yvandermeer/sets/72157621121028669/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/desdeaqui/sets/72157614051891643/ http://douglassonders.wordpress.com/2009/10/03/the-great-american-geektrip-my-american-roadtrip-in-a-delorean-a-ghostbusters-truck-%E2%80%93-update-3/ http://www.vintageroadside.com/ http://www.roadtripamerica.com/ And of course, <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/id4vnQE0ok4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/id4vnQE0ok4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object> Thank you Jennika! xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ September 24th, 2009 � 12:50am ] I worry too much. I worry every time I leave the house that I've left the gas/straighteners/computer on, and I'll return to a smokey ruin of ashes (My mothers response as we ate out tonight and I sat beside her frantically wringing my hands was, "We've got full insurance". Not really the point). I worry about things that I've said or things that have been said to me that might not have came across quite how I meant them. I'm so aware of body language and tone of voice that if someone looks downcast when talking to me I instantly think that it must be me. I double and triple check any text messages I send and I'm always sure to add a million smiley faces. Oh, and I read incoming text messages several times and (as usually happens with such a lacking means of communication) puzzle myself half to a heart attack trying to decipher an 'odd' line or word. Basically, I need to relax a little. I'm sure those who know me think that I am quite laid back. WRONG. And, I need to stop caring what other people think. Not completely, but enough. And, I should stop occasionally writing in this when I'm tired and, uh, worried about nothing as usual. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ August 31st, 2009 � 1:40pm ] Was originally going to fill this entry with a faithful account of my life of late. Then I thought, feck it.... ELI ROTH!!!!! My new super-crush. I want to know where the heck I can buy this poster. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ August 18th, 2009 � 11:43am ] So, it is now midway through August. That means only just over two months until Halloween. I love Halloween. Its the one day of the year I can dress up like even more of an idiot than I usually do and nobody can say anything. Because they look just as idiotic :) So far, I have two ideas for this years 31st. 1. Harley Quinn (the Akrham Asylum version, clearly. I am not about jumpsuits and jester hats) 2. Amber Sweet from Repo xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ August 17th, 2009 � 11:36am ] More Daisy Lowe goodness. I may as well update about my own life. Its going good. Really, really, really good :) I'm a happy camper. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ August 2nd, 2009 � 12:19am ] LISTS Things I have to do before Rebellion, for Rebellion 1. New toothbrush. My current one has actually snapped in half. Take that, dentist. Nobody can say I'm not vigorous enough when it comes to dental hygiene. 2. Buy hair dye, and dye hair. Because yellow roots ain't attractive. When I dye my hair blond, I have black roots. When I dye it black, I get blond roots. When I dye it red, I get fricken yellow Ronald McDonald roots. WHY?!! 3. Stitch up some t-shirts, and some skirts. Some of my shirts I sewed years ago, and I don't want any sort of wardrobe malfunction if I'm jumping around for four days.  4. Tidy room/ at least change bed sheets for Mo staying. Hostess with the mostess, thats me. Things I'm Taking To Rebellion 1. Clothing. Easy enough. I doubt I'll forget all my clothes that said I should definitely remember to bring extra socks and pants. 2. Make-up. As if I'd forget my bloody trunk full of cosmetics. Pah. 3. Hair things- that being kirby grips, bandannas, my GHDs, hairspray, a brush, elastic hair bands and proper hair bobbles. And a hat. 4. Toiletries- contact lens things, deodorant, baby wipes, perfume, toothbrush, toothpaste, body lotion, face moisturizer, make-up remover. 5. Hangover aids- multivitamins and lucozade tablets. 5. A big fluffy towel.  Aaaand I guess I can leave behind my dignity.  I'm going to have fun :) xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Man Candy [ July 29th, 2009 � 8:37pm ] Justin Brescia/Bobby I just can't help it. Yes, he's a bit of a dick and experience has taught me that if a man looks smelly, he probably is. But I've just watched several episodes of The Hills back to back, yawning through Lauren/Lo/Speidi's problems in the hope that Justin Bobby will light up the screen for a few minutes, invariably make Audrina cry, then bugger off doing whatever JB does in his spare time. Which, I would hazard, is something mysterious and awesome (rather than the banal truth, which is probably getting his teeth whitened if the picture above holds any sort of clue). Seriously...what does he do? Is he employed? Or even fake and scriptedly employed?! Actually, wut, I don't really care.  xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ July 28th, 2009 � 9:50pm ] I'm going to try and post more public entries on this thing. What's the point in having an online journal otherwise? When writing private entries, at least half I always toy with making public. At the end of the day, its not like I run some kind of super secret criminal ring or something.  I guess the last meaningful post (as much as Daisy Lowe, Rebellion and shoes are of course important, they don't exactly prob deep into my soul) was my bitter and twisted bunny boiler entry. I was furious and hurt. I think I had every right to be furious and hurt- that was a fucking three year relationship. And whilst I still remain firm in my opinions of both cuntface and dickhead, I think a lot of the poison has left me. Thank the Lord. I was so angry ... I have no idea how some people can carry such rage around with them. It eats you up. Point being: its been about a month or so, and I can honestly say that I'm okay about it. It had to happen- our relationship, without going into it, was biting dust as it was, and in fairness, both of us were too afraid to end it properly, so it was going to die a horrible death one way or another. So, line drawn. Over. Its odd being properly single for the first time in about three years. I entered a long term, committed relationship at a pretty young age- the day I turned seventeen. But you know what? Its good. I feel better about myself, a lot better. I'm not an insecure person- I was just in an insecure relationship. If anything, my behavior recently (especially with a couple of drinks) has almost convinced me I'm a little too confident, if such a state exists. I've been having fun, proper, crazy, chaotic, insane fun. I've done things I may have felt a tinge of shame about in the morning. I've maybe acted like a little bit of a bitch. I seem to be treating men like commodities. But fuck it, I've had fun. And I intend to continue. It is insane how different men treat you when you're outwith a relationship. And vice versa, of course. Before, if somebody started to flirt with me I would always kill it. Polietly, maybe, or slightly abrasively, but that would be it. I had no time for them, and in return, any potential temptation was quickly turned off. But, single and willing, a little interest goes a long way. I am by no means anything special to look at it and I come out with the most stupid things sometimes...but, judging by potential suitors, I seem to have turned into something of a catch. And that makes me incredibly happy, because I've never really had a chance to feel so obtainable. Ironically, I can officially say that I am now taking so much more time and effort with my beauty regime. Ironic, in that whilst I have several men who want to see my body, nobody that actually has or will do on a regular basis. And yet, I am suddenly spending a hell of a lot more time prepping and primping. It makes me feel good. Possibly the best thing about being single is that I appreciate those around me so much more, be they close friends, or just acquaintances. I'm much more open to meeting new people- and you know what? When you take a chance to engage with somebody, its odds on favour that they'll be interesting, decent and responsive. I've never been so approachable and I've never wanted to approach so many people. In the past few weeks my friends circle seems to have trebled. And its awesome. As for my close friends? I have never, ever been more grateful. And I've never had so many insane stories to talk about over lunch. I'm liking the single thing. Yes, it was forced on me. And yes, we're not programmed to love being single forever. If the right man came along, I'd maybe consider a relationship....but only after several months. And he'd have to be damn good. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

Eye Candy [ July 27th, 2009 � 11:33am ] Just finished watching MTV's Reality Show In A Day with Daisy Lowe, and am now utterly convinced she is the most lovely looking woman alive. Granted, the TV show was pretty boring and she came across as slightly lifeless, but jesus, she's so beautiful. I have just spent an inordinate amount of time pouring over Google images, and now cannot wait for her new Agent Provocateur photoshoot to go live. Oooft. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ July 20th, 2009 � 8:12pm ] I am so happy. And not just because I purchased three pairs of shoes. (This picture absolutely does not convey just how bad ass the two pairs of heels are. Honestly. The middle ones could kill). Heels from New Look, flats from Urban Outfitters. I think Swedish men are my type now... :D xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ July 8th, 2009 � 6:11pm ] http://sorry-mom.com/ I'm actually seriously considering submitting Andy's picture. Yep, it's bitter and childish as hell but it'd make me feel better. Jury's still out on that one. On the plus side- this week and next are shaping up to be amazing. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ June 30th, 2009 � 5:36pm ] Rebellion!!! I can't explain how much I'm looking forward to a long weekend of boozing, flirting, seeing amazing bands, and partying with a bunch of strangers on a beach.  Awesome. ps- what the hell has Flickr gone and done to its search pages??!!! :O I do not approve. 0 comments reply | edit memory

[ June 23rd, 2009 � 4:45pm ] I never normally post private things publically for a number of reasons. Namely, I'm not an attention whore and usually I like my private business to stay that way. But at this point, I'm so angry I don't give a fuck. I don't care who ends up reading this, in fact, I'd love it if either of the parties responsible somehow found this journal. Basically, I've been cheated on, and yes, it feels like crap. Admittedly Andy and I have had our ups and downs, and recently we've been going through a rocky patch. But he was the one begging me to stay with him. He was the one professing un fucking dying love for me. He proposed not once but twice. He arranged to meet me for breakfast to 'sort things out for good'. I didn't expect to be told by a snivelling wreck that he'd cheated on me with possibly the most disgusting human being I unfortunately used to know. But, oh, he still loved me. He was so sorry. It just happened. She wasn't worth it, and has a voice like fucking white noise torture. I wish I'd taken the chance to slap some sense into him, and god only knows I'm not usually a violent person. That was his job. And as for her...I am not somebody who would usually jump to blaming the girl. I normally have a huge amount of, if not respect, then at least time for my own sex. And admittedly, it takes two to cheat. But in this case I'm prepared to make a huge exception, because I know her and- like everybody else who has ever come into close contact with it- she has proved her lack of morals many a time before. I guess its just crippling insecurity (I am going to refrain from making sarky comments about her apperance, but I could post a picture of that face and I'm sure everybody would catch my drift) that causes her to actively seek out to hurt people. I honestly have my doubts that she- it- is human. Humans have to have a heart, don't they? Have I received an apology from her? No. Instead, she's attacked my little cousin for daring to side with me. Not that she has a fucking leg to stand on. Re-reading old journal entries. I have no doubt I am better than, and deserve more, than he could ever, ever give me (hello- prospects?! No? Oh well). At least he's apologised (and made fun of her, which, as much as I hate him, was pretty funny, and strangely accurate). If I ever see her again, which is unfortunately quite likely, she should turn the other way. But I guess I'm not the only girl who'll be aiming straight for her.  Ah well, onwards and upwards. Although I do hope she gives him AIDs and they both die horribly. The end. xoxo 0 comments reply | edit memory

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